Building 8 “The Interview”

More than anything it was hard for me to understand him, and that frustrated me even more than his condition. He says his name is Michael. Honestly, I knew that going into the interview, but I wanted to understand his limits, to see what he could and couldn't pronounce. He can't say his name clearly. The “M” requires lips to say, so the best he can do is a bland “Ichael.”

He has had significant speech therapy along with surgery, but the hand that had worked on him was inexperienced. The damage was therefore catastrophic. Though he now has skin on his face, there was no way to repair the damage to his tendons and tissues.

At least, as far as I can tell.

Medical science has only come so far, but I can't help but feel that if The Surgeon had worked on him that maybe there would have been a chance.

He had a nurse with him for our interview and she seemed to be at least sympathetic if not a little affectionate towards him. She seems to have her judgments muted by dealing with his difficulties day in and day out, though I hope that that is as far as it goes.

I keep reminding myself of what he did to his wife. I don't feel like I need to justify me feelings of revulsion as I look at him, nor am I looking for an avenue to derive sympathy. More than anything, I just need to understand what makes this case unique, so I can direct my questions to it. And there are many things that make this case unique.

But there is one point that most stands out to me.

Despite conversations with several parties, I cannot figure out why The Surgeon decided to help her.

Margaret I mean.

The Surgeon is...protective of his work. That much is evidenced from the encounters some of his victims have had with him after their “appointment.” But he has never shown a desire to help those in need. At least, in any way that could be considered separate from his madness.

But with Margaret, he fixed what damage Michael had done and showed her what she needed to know to balance the scales.

Perhaps the simple fact that someone would dare to carry out such an act in his name is more than enough reason for it. Perhaps it was the untrained hand of Michael that gave The Surgeon pause. It could be these things, but I have a different theory.

I think he wanted to teach.

Michael wasn't unfamiliar with The Surgeon when he moved to Wellington Street. The mere fact that his first wife was one of The Surgeon's victims must have twisted his mind to some extent, though if his entries are to believed, he was sick long before that.

At first I had imagined that he had contacted me because of my connections to the old house where his first wife and him had lived, but that proved not to be the case. The conversation for a bit was civil if a little stilted. I was not sure how I could even approach the man when his mind and body have been so completely warped by the suffering he endured and inflicted.

But soon I found what I was looking for, an utterance that I am certain he didn't realize he had made until I pointed it out to him. I had asked him why it was that The Surgeon had helped his second wife.

He said “(p)enance”.

He tried to move off of the topic or at least that train of thought, trying to discuss with me all the difficulties he was facing. He said even support groups for the victims of The Surgeon will not recognize him and refuse to allow him to talk to any of their members, though some let him sit in.

I came back to the word though. He said penance, and I needed to know why he had said that. He looked at me with confusion at first, but then he seemed to relax a little, like a heavy knot was being untangled in his chest. What he told me next he seemed to be able to relate with surprising clarity considering the difficulties that he faces with speech.

I will make note in places where I needed to add additional information to make his words coherent.

“The Surgeon (m)utilated Sarah, (m)y first (w)ife.

Did a good jo(b) at it too, (p)ro(b)a(b)ly his (b)est (w)ork. Sarah looked (m)ore real to (m)e in the end, and that is his art.

He saw that it hurt those around her though. That it a(ff)ected (m)e. He didn't know that I (w)as sick as I a(m), and so when he saw (w)hat I did to (M)argaret, he had to (m)ake it right.

(M)onsters aren't real. (W)e are (w)hat (w)e are. He hurt (m)e and I hurt her. He thinks that isn't the (p)oint of his (w)ork.

That (M)argaret (w)as not (m)ade to (b)e cut.

So he taught her to (b)e the cut.

It (w)as his (p)enance for (p)assing along his cra(f)t to the (w)rong student.

I a(m) a quick learner, and I (w)ill learn how to make this right.

She is the cut, (b)ut I a(m) the (w)ound. E(v)ery day I get stronger, and (w)hen I a(m) (b)etter, I (w)ill show (w)hat I know to others.

He took (b)oth of them (f)rom me. I (w)on't let hi(m) get a(w)ay (w)ith that.

She took (m)y (f)ace and (m)y life.

I (w)ill take their hands.

(W)hat will anyone do to sto(p) (m)e? They are (b)oth (f)reaks. (M)onsters.

Just like (m)e.”

I tried to press him further, but the effort of talking in that long of a stint seemed to have been too much for him to continue.

His nurse helped him to the door, though I don't think he was struggling as much as he let on. I got to talk to her a little when she put him in the car.

She seems like a good person. I'd hate to see her get hurt.

I tried to talk to my dad about it since I left the meeting feeling like absolute hell. He was out for the night but we were able to talk in the morning. By then most of the fervor had left me, and I had very little to say.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I talked to him, but I left knowing even less than I started. People like that are just caustic, and I feel nothing but revulsion towards him and how little has changed.

He still wants control even after everything that he did to himself.