Building 72 “Unbreakable”
My Sweet Niomi,
This is coming sooner than I expected, and maybe that is for the best. I have tried to wait, tried to make all the pieces fit before I decide to move, but I think there is an ending coming, and I don't think I have any time to waste.
I was waiting for things to get better, but they haven't been. If anything, things are getting worse, and I cannot begin to tell you how much I wish things to be different, to meet you at last face to face, with all the time we could ever want, and all the time we could ever need. But you and I are both realists. We do not like to deal in fantasy.
And the truth is that I have been lying to you.
If I were you I would be furious at that statement. After all the deception and half truths you have been enduring, mine may well sit at the top of the pile as one of the worst betrayals. Not for scope, but because you asked me to be honest. And if it were me, I'd struggle to trust again.
But you aren't me.
You are you.
You are the woman I love, and I know that more than anything you just want to know that I am alright, and though I will not pretend that it has been easy, things have gotten better since I stopped trying to act like things were different than they are, and since I accepted my part in all the terrible things that are going on along this stretch of road.
This stretch of road.
Maybe this could of waited, or maybe it should have come earlier, but I like to believe that things come to roust in time, and when they must. So here I am, admitting perhaps too early to the thing that may be reaching you too late.
My home, where I have been living during all of this, is set along Wellington Street. This strange, discordant stretch of road is connected in ways I can barely understand. It is a road that has no seeming end, and starts perhaps at a church or somewhere else.
Sometimes it is one way, and sometimes it is another.
Maybe there are many points where where it starts and stops, and maybe there never was a beginning or an end.
Anyway.
I have been dreaming. I have been dreaming about the sun, and the way it can burn and shift and move. Heat and falter, breathe and pulse. And in all of it there is something standing alone, a figure that is burned into my eyes the way the red sat upon Max or the sea called out to Ariana. There are things that connect us, and none are more real than the dreams we share and the fate we follow.
And I don't think we are part of the ending, even if some people may think so. Our endings are just coming due, and so is the world.
The sun is getting dark...the earth is cooling, and the sky is bathed in red.
Soon it will end.
And when it ends, I don't think there will be any more time for us, and I have tried to understand it and seek out answers. I have tried to find my music like the rest of you have, but nothing ever came to me.
Except one.
But I know in my heart that it is not my music. I don't think I will ever find my music, because the thing that draws me, the heat and the fire and the smell of batteries...these things will never go away, and do not belong to time.
But our bodies do.
Our bodies are bound by time, and we will soon lose that too.
And I need to find you before that happens, because the thought that I could see the end of the world and not have you and I sit together at least once, bathed in the red light of the sun's burning shadow...
I never found my music.
But I did find our music.
“Unbreakable” by TELYKast.
All this time, it seemed that the music was always strictly instrumental, but that isn't what you and I are. Our connection...our love that burns like a fire in my chest brighter than any star or any other light...it is what calls me more than anything. And so I cannot see the world without you, or see my space without you in it.
I am coming to the states, and I hope that I can find you before it is too late.
I love you more than anything, more than I wanted, at least initially.
You are called to the dark, and I am called to the light.
I love you.
Please wait for me.
Love, always,
Noomi
